Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
I learned most of what I know about dropping pianos on people from cartoons.
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
Dear Graduates: Congratulations on making it through the easiest part of your life!
The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
If I can see you, you`re invading my personal space.
When your boss says "You need help", he never means a hitman.
I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...
Procrastination............I`ll make a joke about it later.