Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s so hard to find obedient minions
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
I`m starting to think mosquitoes just land on our faces not to suck blood but to see how stupid we look when we slap ourselves.
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
Me: I`m hungry. Fridge: I don`t give a sh*t. Cabinet: B*tch, don`t look at me. Freezer: Lol, you like ice? :-)
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.