Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
Edward Scissorhands will never win a game of rock, paper, scissors.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
Bike helmets only protect you from looking cool.
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...
"nice crocs. where did you get them?" - nobody ever
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.