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You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
I never thought Iād be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.
I don`t need a New Years Resolution, I`m already awesome!