Daily Silly Status

People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.

I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....

I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.

"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"

It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.

Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.

I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................

All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.

I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?

Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin

You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.

At least a stalker is there for you.

Friends who buy you food are friends for life.