Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
I`m not real excited that the wrapping on my toilet paper said `100% Recycled`.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time