Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you’re a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.