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Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
Being `clean and sober` means I`ve showered and I`m headed to the liquor store.
Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow because I`m still looking for ideas
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener