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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying β€œGoogle that shit!”
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
Whoever snuck the s in β€œfast food” is a clever person.
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.