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I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
There has to be an online course that I can take to get over my internet addiction.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.