Daily Silly Status

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.

That awkward moment when im in the Airport, I walk through the metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off

You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."

My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.

At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.

would a fly without wings be called a walk?

I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka

The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life

Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.

I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.

I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work

The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o

True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.

Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."

When I was a boy, Mom would send me down to the corner store with $1 and I would get 5 bags of potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, some cheese and 6 eggs. You can`t do that now, to many damn security cameras!