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Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
My friend wants to know if you think Iām hot.
Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.
Carrots may be good for your eyes, but alcohol will double your vision.