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Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting...
My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
When you realize that your car matches the one in the Amber Alert.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
Often think if I`d taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
Iām not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?