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“Over my dead body” doesn’t mean “no.” It means I get to do what I want and as a bonus I get to kill you.
If you own a podium and put up a sign that says "valet" on it, can you just steal cars?
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it’s cold like why you gotta play me like that.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
I forgot to post this earlier
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...