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I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
Is it just me, or does this gravy I made taste like scotch? Anyway, best Thanksgiving EVER!
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
I just want to be as thin as my patience.
Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.