Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worst part about looking for a job is if you`re successful, you end up with a job.
whoever snuck the `s` in fast food is a clever person
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
Waitress: `Do u have any questions about the menu?` Me: `What kind of font is this?`
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
I just found out my smoke detector comes with a warranty. WHAT FOR? If it don`t work, what`s left?
The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
You lost your phone and it`s on silent? Too bad. If you liked it then you should`ve put a ring on it.
I wonder if strippers have nightmares about accidentally going to work fully clothed?
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.