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No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
Just one more drink and then I`m outta here" is one of my favorite lies.
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol