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There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
when i have children im going to make them watch 2012 and tell them i survived all of that.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
I react to "Someone has tagged a photo of you..." in the same way I react to a doctor saying, "Your test results came back..."
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?