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I wear a cape when I`m driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I`m going somewhere to fight crime.
That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
Ya .... That Supermoon was OK ..... But I was quite disappointed when I realized it didn`t even have a cape.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.