Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear Graduates: Congratulations on making it through the easiest part of your life!
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
thinks my life is becoming a very complicated drinking game.
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
When I get to heaven, the first question I`m asking God is, why does my butt have more hair than my head?
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
Over 500 channels and not a DAMN THING to watch! I suppose I should subscribe to some of them...
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?