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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
Fire at will! Oh, it`s you, Bob! Fire at Bob!"
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for most of you.
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"