Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close Enough.”
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
Yes Grandma, I`m almost positive Arachnophobia is not the fear of people from Iraq
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
My wife’s cooking brings a whole new meaning to.. eat sh!t and die.
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
I Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.