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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
When I have a yard sale I play the theme song to Sanford & Son with a boombox on my porch.
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?