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I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
Only 3 things can make me run. When someone yells, "Fire", "Free beer" or "The free beer is on fire”
If I had a time machine I`d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the sh!t out of people with an electric toothbrush.
Sorry to all my friends and family members who didn`t know I was a freak until they saw my likes and shares on Facebook.
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
"I knew that..." -Me, after every Jeopardy question.
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
In theory, sex should be grosser than letting someone borrow your toothbrush, but it`s not.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?