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I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
6 inch - about right, 7 inch - cant complain, 8 inch - f*cking perfect, 9 inch - a bit much, 10 inch - its hurting my insides, 11 inch - I cant take it anymore, 12 inch - I`m absolutely f*cking destroyed ... Aren`t pizza`s just awesome.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
I was going to change my profile pic to a pumpkin for Halloween, but it didn`t look that much different from my actual head.
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...