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Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
my girlfriend does that cute thing, where she doesnt exist.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
the only way I know something is bad for me is if I like it
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.