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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
I wouldn`t be surprised if my kids think the phrase "goddamn douchebag" means someone who pulls out in front of your car without signaling.
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, then why the heck is there a song about it?
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
Me, on phone to credit card company: What if you just break my kneecaps and we call it even?
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.