Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
Just drove past the house where I lost my virginity. There wasn`t even a plaque or anything. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
"If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best" literally translates to "I`m a loud, sloppy drunk."
[takes out checkbook][clicks pen] Alright, how much to make these Bit Strips to go away forever.
Why isn`t there a reality show called "Security Cams of Walmart?"
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I`m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree