Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Offering a homeless dude $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!