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Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
No one has ever said, "You know what would make this even better? ... Turkey bacon."
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I`d totally be expecting some change back.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work