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Bored? Update your Facebook to “in a relationship” with someone you’ve never met just to see if they’ll confirm.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.