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I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
They`ve been farting with my facebook again. It`s like the old days when the the girl you woke up with wasn`t the one you went to bed with.
I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.
Forgotten pocket money is the best!
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.