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We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
I`m only 2 girls short of a threesome.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
Learn to fight like you`re the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?