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I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band.
You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at work.