Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
LISTEN: It was sweet of you to suck the venom out of my snake bite, but if you really loved me... you would have swallowed.
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
Marriage, because sometimes ruining a person`s life takes serious commitment.
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
I went on two diets because there wasn’t enough food on just the one.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
Every family has a plastic bag full of plastic bags.
Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it`s voice activated. I`m at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.