Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance daddy.
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
Just changed my wireless network name in my apartment to "I can hear you having sex through the ceiling and it sounds mediocre."
I had cheese, but no crackers ... I was cracka-lackin
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..