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Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I’m going to have.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
I think people who challenge me at Words With Friends are most impressed with my vast knowledge of three letter words.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.