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Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can.
I hope I never go to jail because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2001
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.