Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
Smooth move.........ExLax
The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
so I got really drunk last night, but I was good and took a bus home. the only problem I have now is I dont remember where I put the keys to the bus.
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until its too late for em to back out
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
Its national shave your... Well, tomorrow is valentine`s day. Just an FYI.
I was stood in front of the mirror last night, admiring my six pack. Then it occurred to me, why the f*ck am I not drinking it?
I am the head of this household, and I have my wife`s permission to say so.
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....