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The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies.
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you.
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
I bet there`s a rapper trying to figure out a way to replace his teeth with LED lights
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.