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I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.