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Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
All milk is breast milk.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
This recliner and I go way back.
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.