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Steve Jobs is now working with God to make iWife... Beauty with brains and Mute button
I don`t eat a high fiber diet to be healthier, I eat so I`ll have to $hit more at work.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I`m like that, but with salad.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
Being clean and sober means i’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.