Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
30+ and single? There`s an app for that. Wait. My mistake. A cat for that.
The only problem with sarcasm is, it only works on intelligent people.
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
What Flickering Lights Mean: 1% Electrical problems 99% demons and sh!t.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.