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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
I`m fortunate that anger and nicotine have zero calories.
If animals spoke our language we`d be in their debt because they`d have some seriously incriminating dirt on all of us.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
I don`t get nearly enough credit for managing not to be a violent psychopath
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"
When it comes to speaking Spanish I know the essentials. "Taco, nacho, burrito, cheeto, frito & no comprendo."