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The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn`t think she knew about.
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
I have never preheated an oven but I have pre-eaten a frozen pizza.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
Question everything...Or should you?
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.