Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
I hate how homeless people shake their coin cups at me. I get it. No need to gloat that they have more money than me.
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
You know that 200-foot high expansion bridge you drove over today? Just remember that it was built by the lowest bidder.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they`re thinking "Why don`t you just eat ALL the food?"
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.