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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
You know what makes sex awesome? Actually having it.
Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Being ‘clean and sober’ means I’ve showered and I’m headed to the liquor store.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.