Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
At this point in my life the only reason I want to be rich is to hire somebody to clean my house.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
All I`m saying is that Schwarzenegger isn`t the only one who woke up naked next to a dumpster in 1984.
Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don`t want to talk.