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Ok but how old is your child in minutes?
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’. You probably saw our posters on poles.
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
Dark humor is like sex, not everybody always gets it.
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree