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I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
Football: 22 people on the field desperately in need of rest and 75,000 in the stands desperately in need of exercise.