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Sometimes I order Domino`s but give them Pizza Hut`s address. And when they show up and start fighting, I just wait with my mouth open.
Don’t underestimate my ability to be hungry.
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
If you want to ruin a song forever use it for your alarm.
I work out ... Just kidding, I take naps.
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
The hardest part about being an adult is trying to hide how you`re still a child.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
Do angry people know about naps?
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P