Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
Alcohol free beer is like ... orgasm free sex
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
Does anyone have like twenty thousand dollars they don’t want? Asking for myself.
Just when I think my confidence couldn`t be shakier, some shitty website tells me I have a "Weak Password"
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.