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Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
The best way to a woman`s heart is by saying three words - You lost weight.
This patience thing takes forever.
Your cat doesn`t love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
Word for today: Dipshidiot
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.