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A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it’s cold like why you gotta play me like that.
Love is a two way street but you have to be careful because women can’t drive.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
Hey sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...