Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
My wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can`t see the mailbox when she`s backing up?
The good thing about "poking" on Facebook, no babies are created.
Under no circumstances shall a call be made to another male after 2 a.m., unless its to get bailed out of jail.
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?