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I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
There is no better indication of how drunk you are than how loudly you declare that you`re not.
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullsh!t I`ll put up with before I catch on.
I am Bad and thats Good. I will never be Good and thats not Bad. There`s no one i`d rather be than ME.
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
To do list- (1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for the reaction.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Question everything...Or should you?
I`ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.