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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
I wonder how many people read my statuses and say `I hope he`s getting professional help`?
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!