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My neighbors complained about all the loud sex they are hearing from my house. So now I have to buy some headphones for my computer.
I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
Ideal roommate: Someone not smart enough to know they are paying 80% of the rent.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.
Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there`s anything good, but nothing ever changes :b
Facebook is perfect for those people that have never been very good at waiting for their turn to speak.