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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
I’m just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
Welcome to the obesessive-compulsive hotline... please press 1 repeatedly.
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with it´s own shot glass