Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Depression is just your body`s way of saying it needs more orgasms.
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
Asked my wife if she would be my friend on FB again, she said no. She said my “funny” status updates are annoying. Therefore, I must conclude she loves me for my body...
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...