Daily Silly Status

Most problems can be solved with nudity

I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."

Just burned 2000 calories. That`s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.

Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.

Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.

Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing

I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.

Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle

I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.

Going to the skate park to watch people fall.

Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those TacoBell hot sauce packets.