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Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
I just found out that all the people who say "You haven`t changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
Why the hell isn`t the iphone`s battery life called "Apple Juice."