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How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
keeps getting dirty voicemails from unknown numbers. If it`s you.. Send more
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
Dearest Neighbors, Please do not call the police, it`s not domestic violence or a wild party. It`s football season, that`s just me screaming at my TV.
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that`s a D you moron !
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t`s totally different.
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.