Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
If I had a nickel for everytime I said, "If I had a nickel", I`d be rich.
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
life is too short to match socks
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
What do you mean being awesome for another year isn`t a resolution?
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?