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Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
The phrase "don`t take this the wrong way" has zero % success rate
Ever notice how the automatic flush sensors in public restrooms kinda look like hidden cameras?
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
Arguing politics is like trying to convince someone that their baby isn`t cute.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.