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Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re a terrible person and had it coming.
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
If I`ve offended you in the past, please accept my apology, and shove it up your a$$.
There`s always cake to celebrate happy moments, but I really think cake would do better during the bad times. Got fired? Have a cake.
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting "LOL" on relationship statuses on Facebook.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.