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After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
Safe words are for quitters.
You know what makes sex awesome? Actually having it.
Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.