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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I`ve been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
It’s not that I’m old, your music really does suck.
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Law enforcement`s cracking down on texting while driving, but there`s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today, or flash them your boobs...... Strangers love boobs!
I was like "No, Pepsi is NOT ok. I wanted a Coke." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
I will never repeat filthy rumors. So listen closely the first time.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?