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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
You know someone has a drinking problem when they go to the bar at 5pm, you know you have a drinking problem when you`re already there.
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.