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I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
I asked my girlfriend if she was ok with me buying her a ring. She said "nothing would make me happier!" So I got her nothing.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?