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Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
Any perfume that claims it will help you seduce a man is lying if it doesn’t smell like a pizza.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data