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It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other shit wrong with my car I`d turn the radio down.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
Is it bad that "WINE" is always on my grocery list? At the top? In all caps?
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.
"I can`t wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver