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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
I saved my husband`s life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
So you think you can study with your facebook activated? That`s cute! ^.^
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
Is it "I febreezed my crotch" or "I febroze my crotch"?
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."